Moving Along through Scene II!

Surprisingly, and most definitely to my relief, the second scene was not as bad as the first. I think the need to stick somewhat to Aristophanes opening for MY opening gave me a little trouble--that and my utter fear it was way over my head! But once I got that on paper, it became easier to see where I wanted to change, add, or absolutely delete lines. The second scene seemed to roll on the page; I had given even more thought to how I would constuct that one as it was not following the original piece. In truth, the idea is exactly like the original--the men and women bicker to the point of losing their tempers. But I am not using men or women choruses--I instead have a plethora of Shoprite employees to replace those. What seems to be such a great deal of fun is the fact I have characters to work with--my coworkers--so I do not need to create people entirely from scratch. It gives my characters their voices, complete with complaints, drawls, accents and often  a loud, sarcastic tone, but these are real voices from the very types of people I am focusing on. The enthusiasm from my coworkers over their personas being used for my play is overwhelming--and for me it is hugely helpful. When I start to picture how I want a scene to go, I visualize these people and know the reactions I will have. Sometimes I even hear their voices-in my head--in response to the questions posed to them .

 Usually these are funny lines even if the people in question are angry.  I have learned over the thirty nine years of working in this environment that most of us will respond more quickly with humor or sarcasm than outright bitterness. Once someone is finished venting, they go back to work--until somebody else brings up the very thing they are complaining about. I guess the luxury of knowing the "characters" in my story as real people who do find themselves being repressed, disrespected, and underestimated by a group of misogynistic men in power, is a gift that enables me to write some funny things that would undoubtedly happen if this fiction became fact. Those characterizations include the men I work with as well as the big cheeses I work for. This play does not require any true anger; only a sense of "right is might" and "power to the people" (right on)...Enough of my cliches for now. On a brighter note, as far as my bibliography goes, I had found about three more pieces that I liked very much and then the trail went cold. Until I ordered a book for my other class on Creative Nonfiction; its called Writing True by Perl and Schwartz, and as I read through the chapter headings I would be visiting, the realization came to me (finally) that although I am adapting Aristophanes classic piece, I am doing it in a very realistic setting. The facts are fictional but the people I am using as my models--who are very flattered to be included and have all given their consent to borrow their names and/ or personalities---those folks are very real. The setting is also real so my Lysistrata becomes a story filled with a nonfictional group of characters in a nonfictional grocery store. Even my customers--who will pop in during the next scene (I hope) are the real deal. So, after reading through a large portion of the Perl and Schwartz book, I recognize the potential it has for my writing of this tale. As for this Thursday, I cannot wait to try the cold reading of one of my scenes with my group and Dr. Z. Now I have to decide which one I want (or dare) to hear out loud.

At last: the Next Scene*** YIKES!

So after looking up a lot more information--a lot of which is the same information viewed differently by other writers--I have gotten up the nerve to forge onward. Admittedly, I once again made lots of notes, post-its attached to those notes with (you guessed) other notes, and finally--as I am writing--even more notes that need to be inserted into the story as I (eventually) type it up. Then, after it is typed up I will proceed to rewrite most of those lines AGAIN and replace my first words with entirely different BETTER words; maybe I can finish this project by spring. More likely, I will be submitting a draft of my project as every time I look at this piece, I find some small change that simply must be made. I really hope it will be a funny piece yet contain some merit for the voice it hopes to create. At this point, I want to get my "dry run" down on paper and then bit by bit, try and make it stronger, funnier, and more meaningful--but without becoming preachy. I certainly hope I can achieve all I am setting out to do.

  The encouraging thing is that all my co-workers--the inspiration for this insanity--are thrilled to even have their persona or their name included in my piece for school. I believe they think I am eccentric as I like school and have chosen to go back--again and again--while working any kind of crazy schedule with them. But, I too am one of these people I am writing about as I too am employed there. Just like them, I consider myself inconvenienced and sorely affected by some of the sales incentives that are a regular part of being an employee today in this form of retail. Gone are the days of simply working one's schedule and leaving the job entirely when you punch out--I am as much a part of the cause I am fighting, with my adaptation, as I am the voice of opposition. This realization has become clearer with the ridiculously long days at work which feel like they accomplish nothing. Sadly, there are still many of my co-workers who are put upon in a similar fashion yet also remain on the fringe of these inner-business wars. The world of business holds a much different lifestyle and creativity level than the worlds of writing or theatre--the worlds where I thrive and am happy. So the work atmosphere is very draining for me as a person, never mind as an employee. The many co-workers and lifelong friends through my job, face the concern of their other half becoming too enmeshed in this fast-paced, all-consuming business. Often with little or no hope of escaping the lure of the money and prestige held so highly in esteem. And there actually are many good, bright, warm-hearted folk who cannot get a break in this business despite their best efforts, as they are perceived as having less to offer than the people in charge--the all-knowing moguls who are, in truth, no better than those they overlook. Stolen time from important family moments are as commonplace as unfair expectations of higher authorities with no regard for the people below them--holding the business together. Worse still is being placed in a position of authority over people whose positions cannot be changed or improved upon easily, but would instead need an investment the company does not want to provide. All of these situations occur concurrently in my business, and with a staff of almost three hundred employees in my store alone, there are a lot of concerns to realize, recognize, and attempt to convey simply through a rewrite of Aristophanes classic. In the hope of having those voices heard and respected for their daily struggle while also laughing at ourselves as we all try to get by with a smile. Just keep  praying that I can pull off this feat; with God's help only will this be accomplished!

Trudging Along (with a cranky computer...)

Well, after reading through the new pieces I acquired for my Lit review--and being grateful for the smart things I have unwittingly done so far--I find myself fighting with my computer which has decided I am not paying it enough attention (perhaps) or that I am spending too much time working on my phone. Either way, I do frequently research on my laptop or my phone and when something seems like material I would like to have handy, information that will greatly benefit my play as I move forward in this (dreadfully slow) process, my desktop and its printer tend to be uncooperative. My frustration level with work--that place I find myself spending twelve hours a day of late--and my inability to form verbal sentences by the time I get home much less create humorous dialogue for my next scene, is greatly enhanced by the computer joining forces with Shoprite, Wakefern and the less personal but equally annoying rush hour traffic (which I am now in the thick of, as I get out of work so much later than I am supposed to). But enough of my complaints--for now. I am finding, through my research, that my instincts and my initial research about adapting a play from so long ago, were spot on--thank God! I will not have copyright fees or family members looking for compensation--unless Aristophanes has a relative who can validate their connection to him, which is fairly unlikely. I had learned that in Theatre and also in my many Shakespeare classes; being such a big fan of the Bard I was curious. But these articles confirm my safety in this area. So ancient Greeks are by far even safer than sixteenth century works. I was also pleased to learn that the characterizations I have carefully chosen are also following the good advice of experts--so I have made some smart moves with that as well. What I find of concern is that all three papers I read on adapting a play, recommend taking a "B" play and improving on it. I have chosen an "A" play that is one of my favorites, which is most definitely not the suggestion of experts at all. However, I feel it can work if I stay true to Aristophanes style of humor and humanity while infusing this piece with my own--in regard to this new setting and what my version is hoping to convey. He sought peace and that point was grasped through the humor. I seek understanding of self, for the people caught in the middle of corporate bull*** every day. I also hope to attain both respect and appreciation for all the people who make the business work and keep it going "round and round" every single day. That includes not only women, but also marginalized workers of race, religion, and sex. Aristophanes was the voice through this woman Lysistrata that made everyone laugh at themselves and at the stupidity and futility of war. I need to be able to create that same sentiment regarding the monster we all go to day after day, the machine with which we pay our bills and stay societally acceptable. BUT, that same machine robs us of so many of the important things that really matter while it creates a competitive atmosphere which make some obsessed with success. And the rest either get left in the cold or try to keep it together, albeit feeling horribly slighted and/ or alienated. As they should. This Lysistrata wants to stop that war and will also use the only way she can. I'll stop rambling now, but I do hope you can see my goal and my concern that I do this well and make a strong--yet funny--case for all to see. And maybe help some to have a change of heart. Just like Aristophanes did.

The First Big Step--It's in Docs! by Debbie Bagnato

Now I want to let you all know, that the actual first big step was trying to re-write an Aristophanes play. Me. Lady who works in Shoprite and went back to college (after having a family) on a dare to get her son to try college himself. So, if that "step" of taking  classic piece isn't intimidating enough, I have now been so brazen with my words (in place of his highly revered ones) and put them into a document. This document says "Lysistrata Revisited" and that is exactly what my version is doing. In truth though, I really love this play, and my adaptation suggests no disservice but a sort of homage to this man, from another time, who held such humor, talent, grace, understanding of humanity and exceptional foresight. So, I don't think he would be angry at having his concept brought to my setting albeit a supermarket is such an unusual place for a play. The transfer from paper and pen to Docs was very scary, as time-consuming (if not moreso) than the original creation. But it has morphed in its transition and will continue to do so. As I would share my writing progress with coworkers--many of whom are in this piece if only through their personalities, their enthusiasm and desire to be included--in any small way--was delightfully encouraging. In truth, I work with lots of men and women, but am in contact (in the office) with mostly the female side of the store. That is how the idea evolved for a play set in Shoprite--the center of everything is the upstairs office which overlooks the entire store. So it is now--in my play--the Acropolis. I did begin my next scene; unfortunately, I have not been able to work on it for a couple of days so now I need to review before I continue. I have noticed that sometimes it is better to step back for a minute--then when I go back to writing, I'll pick up on things I didn't catch before. Sometimes, it will be the way I wrote a section that does not click or seems unnatural. By walking away for a day or two I can be more objective and see where something does not gel. Or if a section is better than I thought I'm able to see it (and be relieved). Many of the things that make this adaptation easy to set in my workplace have been very apparent this entire week--it has been a horrible week filled with men trying to one-up each other and we women being treated like the women in ancient Greece may have been--if they worked for Shoprite. I am exhausted as I have worked 10-12 hour days all week in an effort to get my department on track/ cleaned up, and reported on to all the appropriate parties. Unfortuntely, my efforts seemingly have gone unnoticed, or are considered not good enough (I am a woman) much like the story goes in Lysistrata. Fuel for writing my play, that is what I tell myself while I try to stay awake and coherent as I edit...
On a happier note, I am moving forward and just found several great essays/ articles on the topics Dr. Zamora suggested for my research. I will read as much as I can online and probably print them out--you guys know I like to have the paper in front of me while I work so I can write on it. Next, I need to pick the ones that will help me in my process and then try to organize the works cited. But I think I am getting ahead of myself and that is never productive. So enough on my work to do and now to get to it! Hope everyone is having a successful journey with their thesis and making the progress they need to make...until next time. :-)